“How is Adi?” comes up every few hours, and I have barely written about it this year, so let me do so as I sit with her in the doctor’s office, in a week where she’s already had to go to the hospital not once but 3 times.
I haven’t quite expressed how difficult and unpleasant this year has been so let me attempt. Adi was vomiting 30 times a day since a mere few weeks into this pregnancy, way back in January. Eventually with Zofran around the clock plus 4 days a week with IV fluids, she is vomiting “only” 15 times a day. With no relief at any point between vomiting. None. Since. January.
The baby boy inside appears to be doing great, just as Natalia was when she was growing, but Adi the (host) mother, simply is not.
Add to this that since Friday she has been 1.5cm dilated and contracting every few minutes, while still vomiting, and now she cannot sleep and often cannot even lie down. And has to pee every few minutes. There is no relief for her. So naturally, as you can imagine from anyone in this state, she is also a flood of tears on a regular basis, as she is in pain, she is nauseous, and she cannot sleep.
But yet, all of the doctors understandably want this baby to gestate as long as possible, as close as possible to 39 weeks, when they are hoping to do the C section (August 24th). So, until then, whether it’s another day or somehow another 4 weeks, she exists to protect and help grow the life inside. And we both expect this to end healthily for both her and the baby, but getting there is a true misery.
To be totally honest, I’ve been a highly anxious person all year as a result. On edge, less patient, and quicker to emotional outbursts. Making plans such as movies and playing poker are helpful, but not enough. I initiated therapy months ago. I started taking medications last week. Because normal coping mechanisms haven’t been enough. Because none of this is normal.
I miss my wife. Even when she’s next to me she’s not really all there. And I really look forward to having her back when this is over…
Boaz Hepner works as a Registered Nurse in Saint John’s Health Center. He grew up in LA in Pico/Robertson and lives there with his wife and daughter.